Don’t Give Your Kids a Heart-Hole

Most everyone want to see themselves as good at working, thinking, and being lovable. But, let’s face it. Some just seem born to have a greater ability to do these things. You’ve seen it. The naturally handsome, smart and talented football quarterback. Or the lady who has it all – money, beauty and brains. While the rest of us struggle along with what we scrape together.

How did those lucky people seemingly get it all, and the rest of us are stuck with being just “me?’

Don’t despair with just being you. Although we know the inheritance of money or beauty is definitely a plus, those things don’t go very far in creating peace and happiness. The legacy of something else is so much more valuable. What is that “something else” that beats them all? The emotional climate of your childhood home. The stability of childhood unconditional love, security, and forgiveness. Giving you the self-assurance to know you can attempt anything and fail at it, and you’re still okay.

That stability is why having Mom, Dad, and grandparents involved in a child’s life is so invaluable. Without that foundation in a person’s childhood, there is a hole left in the heart that no amount of money or beauty can fill. And that hole negatively influences a person’s confidence in decision-making, finding a mate who understands how to love and be loved, and the ability to live well – or otherwise. For the rest of their life.

Don’t misunderstand, there are many who have worked to successfully overcome this heart-hole. But that is precisely my point. It takes enormous work to overcome. And that is the advantage that some kids have on other kids from the very beginning. The ‘haves’ don’t have to work like the ‘have-nots’ – to just get their head up to even ground.

Talk to someone who had the privilege of being reared in a family where unconditional love, family time, discipline, and open honesty was just part of life. Whether the family lived in wealth or poverty. You will hear an adult who knew that whatever might happen in the coming years, good or bad, there was an immovable mountain of granite at his or her back… the legacy of stability.

So, here is the question. How to change the course of your unfortunate family legacy?

Begin learning what you were never taught.

Put your Creator first – living life the way He designed originally. Get in a good church and spend time with families, rich or poor, who model a healthy emotional climate. Deliberately create the time to emotionally invest in your own child. Love and forgive your mate for any pain of the past, so that you can stay together.

Bottom line. Kids thrive on emotional stability. They become emotionally healthy adults who don’t have to climb out of a hole just to get the chance to succeed at living.