The Middle of the Wishbone

To paraphrase a comedian from years ago, “D’ya know what makes me sick?” No? Well, I can gladly tell you. And there will be no referring to the cost of eating, or heating the house, or driving across the street nowadays. Although I certainly could.

The topic eating my lunch today; Having friends that I love… and they can’t stand each other.
I enjoy church on Sunday morning, singing, praying, and then listening to a minister explain a part of the Bible in a way that is understandable. (Understandable, preachers, get that? Understandable!) Then eventually bundling myself up against the weather outside, saying goodbye to friends standing nearby, and racing my car headlong to my warm home.

I do not enjoy having friends or loved ones at church being at odds with each other and each expecting me to side with them. I do not enjoy being the center of the proverbial wishbone.

How in this world can otherwise normal, patient, God-fearing adults seemingly overnight become self-serving, egocentric, “It’s my way or the highway” kind of people? I might understand it easier, if the persons involved in this struggle were known to be constantly neurotic and narcissistic. But to suddenly devolve into angry and hurtful church-goers, simply because somebody didn’t agree with their point of view on an issue?
And to complicate matters, both sides usually have good and sincere points in their favor. Both have valid reasons to believe they are the only ones in the right. And both are certainly not shy in letting any listener hear those talking points. Stand still long enough in one place nearby, and you are bound to receive an earful.

But there is a problem, and it always the root problem for the entire issue. They talk to anyone else who will listen, but they are not talking and listening to each other. How can they possibly expect to come to an understanding of the other’s POV, and settle on a compromise, if they refuse to sit down and listen to each other explain their beliefs and opinions?

Ignoring each other while standing in the very same crowded room does little to promote a loving and kind atmosphere for others, believe me. And it’s really difficult for the mutual friend who gets caught in the crossfire – otherwise known as being the middle of the wishbone.

Many church goers caught in this wishbone dilemma finally just make a decision. To avoid all the controversy, they simply stay home in their house robe, turn the channel to catch a TV preacher, grab a cup of hot-something and settle into their favorite chair for a thirty-minute sermon. Oh yes, that works for that person, but does little for the health and well-being of the local church.

Sincere and opinionated persons in the congregation, do us all a favor, please? Pick up the phone, and call your adversary to make a specific date and time to sit down and listen.