Andy was preparing his own lunch that day. Renie wasn’t feeling well, so he was on his own. He decided he would open up a can of soup, add a few crackers, and he’d be just fine.
The rest of the story, according to him…
“Put soup in bowl, heat in microwave. Add crackers and eat, Easy, peasy, right?
A few hours later my bride wandered into the kitchen. Then it began. She was definitely not impressed with my kitchen skills. Oh, what I had fixed for myself was no problem, she is happy that I am capable of fending for myself. But the problem was the kitchen after I had left with my stomach full.
Now, let me be clear, folks. I have good eyesight, it has been checked recently and I am clear to read, write and drive, just like any other adult male. So, strongly believing in my abilities, I defiantly stood up for myself and my cleaning skills. I felt like telling her that she has the eyes of an eagle on the hunt for baby sugar ants on a tree-covered mountain slope. Then her eyes began to squint slightly with that oh-too-familiar-look of “Ohhhhh, really?”
Then she started pointing. Uh-oh.
Drips of soup left all over the counter top. Splattered soup inside the microwave, (Yeah, I forgot to cover the bowl.) Cracker crumbs left to populate the island where I ate. My empty bowl and glass left in the sink for someone else to wash. And somehow, someone who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty, had dropped hot sauce on the floor to evaporate or clean itself.
May I simply say that my fatigued and fevered-ridden beloved wife was not a happy camper?
The following conversation included questions about “are men just blind slobs…my heritage… my degree of intelligence,” and some other flattering observations.
I didn’t knowingly leave a dirty kitchen. Nor did I deliberately leave it for her to clean. But I did make a mess and walked out. And left it for someone else to clean up. I had been thoughtless and careless, absorbed in my thoughts concerning a project, and simply didn’t take the time to check behind myself before leaving the room.
This may sound a lot like what happens in many other homes. Someone in the household creates a problem or a mess. Not intentionally, but it happens. And because that person doesn’t recognize it as a problem, someone else has to deal with the aftermath. Even if the guilty party cleans up their own mess after it’s brought to their attention, it can leave a bad taste in the mouth of the other people in the house. There usually are no good outcomes from that scenario. Definitely does not do positive things for relationships.
So, learn to look behind you. Clean up your own mess. Take responsibility for you. And when you do make a mistake, apologize to each other.
We are Dr. Andy & Renie Bowman, authors of the nationally syndicated "CoffeeTime Column" and hosts of popular podcast "CoffeeTime with Andy & Renie Bowman". 