Free Holiday Fireworks

Fireworks at home on the fourth of July?  Almost a given in a large percentage of American homes on that day. 

If you think that getting fireworks from your local roadside seller is just too expensive? Well, they are nothing compared to the real home-made variety – explosive family arguments. The actual cost of the fireworks we create and ignite at home is astronomical, and most of us don’t even realize it. Here is a version of a typical American household on the 4th of July;

Him: “Uh, honey, I need to start up the grill. Where is the charcoal that I told you to pick up while you were out yesterday?”

Her: (facing the kitchen sink) “Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening, I guess. What’d ya’ say?

Him: “The charcoal, where did you put it?”

Her: “I haven’t moved your charcoal. I never use the grill, you always do that. So why ask me?”

Him: (sighing dramatically) “Okay, dear. Let me start over ve-ry slow-ly, so you can follow.           Where. Did. You. Put. The. Bag. Of. Charcoal. When. You. Brought. It. Home?”         

Her: (offended and glaring over her shoulder) And I repeat….I haven’t had your stupid charcoal!   Wherever you put it last time, go look there.”

Him: (now angry) “Are you telling me in your usual scatterbrained way that you forgot to buy charcoal, even after I reminded you yesterday??!  Great, just absolutely great!”

Her: (Furious) “Me scatterbrained! Look who’s talking! You’re the one who didn’t remember to write charcoal on the BUY LIST I keep on the fridge! If you would have just stopped and thought for two seconds, you could have used those three brain cells God gave you and remembered to write it down! This isn’t my fault, and don’t think for a minute you can blame me! Oh, yeah, I forgot. You don’t bother thinking most of the time.”

Him: “My ‘three brain cells’ are working just fine, thank you! Working well enough to tell me that I don’t have to put up with your @$!#&*!!!   I’m outta here. You can do whatever ya’ want. But I’m goin’ where some sane people are having fun together.”

Her: (Hurls a carton of eggs at his disappearing back) “Fine! Do what you always do! Run like a chicken when things don’t go your way and it gets hard around here!”                          

    _____________________________

I really do hope this doesn’t sound like I have been watching a camera discreetly placed in your kitchen. But unfortunately, I believe there are some of you who could have used past memories to write your own version of this made-up scenario.

Earlier, I referred to the cost of “homemade holiday fireworks.” The emotional cost to your family is enormous, so do your family a big favor this year. Vow to listen. And listen patiently, not jumping to conclusions.  

Or you could very easily find yourself providing free fireworks for the entire neighborhood that day. And believe me, nobody enjoys hearing those.